


as long as you’re around

by tenthusiast (honeyuta)



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, M/M, SM Rookies Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 11:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyuta/pseuds/tenthusiast
Summary: Things have changed.Not for the better, and not for the worse either.Things have simply changed.And Yuta isn't sure he likes it too much.It's alright though. As long as he has Taeyong, everything will be alright.





	as long as you’re around

**Author's Note:**

> henlo i'm back with another pointless fic which i wrote instead of the other ideas that are rotting away in my notepad but oh well. i wrote this on a whim, i have no idea what compelled me to, but i hope y'all like it? 
> 
> also thank you all so much for all your love and support on my other fics!! i didn't expect the yujaeyong fic to get so much love; it's literally 1k of plotless nonsense but it's got 90+ kudos, and that's all thanks to you guys. thank you, truly
> 
> and with that, let's get on with it. excuse any mistakes, and enjoy!!

The first debut comes and goes by in a flash – NCT U's. They've been in the news a lot; Yuta would know, he's been reading articles related to them, watching their interviews and appearances on shows, and suddenly he feels like he has way too much on his hands, which technically isn't true because he's been preparing with the others for his own debut – NCT 127 is set to debut in just a few weeks and they still have a lot of to do and honestly, there's not enough time. But that doesn't stop him from feeling like he has way too much of it on his hands. Maybe it's got to do with the fact that he hears the door clicking shut at one in the morning when he's already wrapped up in bed; a signal that the five boys have finally returned after a long day of schedules.

Now, he may already be in bed at that time, and he may act like he's sound asleep when Ten steps in to use the bathroom (“Because it's the closest to the front door. Besides, it's my room too,” he had been told when he chided Ten about his noisiness in the middle of the night and told him to use the bathroom out in the hall), but that doesn't necessarily mean that he's alseep. No, it doesn't have to mean that at all.

He finds it funny, how debuting was the one thing he's wanted ever since he was first accepted as a trainee, the one thing that kept him going when he wanted nothing more than to just give up, the one thing that made him smile when he was on the verge of tears, and now… now he isn't sure he really wants to.

He's going to miss trainee life. He's going to miss waking up to a smelly sock on his face, courtesy of his dearest Thai roommate. He's going to miss the smell of pancakes wafting through the open door of his bedroom, left open by god knows whom. He's going to miss being greeted by the bickering of the youngsters when he stumbles into the kitchen, more dead than alive, as they sit at the way too small dining table, waiting eagerly for their breakfast with their feet dangling from the chairs. He's going to miss performing on small stages, where he feels more connected to the fans that he thinks he'll ever be. He's going to miss playing pranks on Taeil with the assistance of the younger ones. He's going to miss roaming around the streets freely with the other foreign members, trying to familiarise himself with the city that'll serve as his home for the next ten or so years. He's going to miss a lot of things.

That is, if he doesn't miss them already.

He feels himself drifting away; he doesn't recall ever having spoken such little to Dongyoung, he doesn't remember the last time he had had the time to ask Mark and Jaehyun how they were doing and how school was going (or rather, the last time Mark and Jaehyun had had the time to stop and talk to _him_ ), he can't even recall the last time he'd said something snide to Ten, which scares him because he's his roommate for god's sake; there wasn't a single moment back then when they wouldn't be talking to each other, and comparing that to what has become of their relationship now, terrifies him to no end.

The others are very well and as close as they used to be, although it is evident that the pressure to be perfect for debut is starting to take its toll on everyone. Yuta doesn't remember their cheery Taeil hyung looking this tired ever before; the bags under his eyes are a dead giveaway to the hours and hours he spends in the studio, and no number of forced smiles and countless reassurances are enough to fool the others. At least, it doesn't fool Yuta.

It's the same with some others, Yuta has noticed. Johnny, their signature mood maker, doesn't seem to be doing any mood making recently. Yuta doesn't blame him. There isn't much will power left in the older, Yuta can see it in his eyes. Nine years of training with no fruit in the end is bound to wear you down and crush your dreams to some extent, he assumes.

The comforting conversations he used to have with Hansol don't seem nearly as comforting anymore. If anything, Yuta thinks, Hansol is the one in need of comfort. He wishes he can be of help in some way, he wants to address Hansol about it, but he doesn't find the time. That seems to be another major problem.

The kids still have an air of exuberance about them, though it's clear the atmosphere in the dorms wears that down a little. Yuta can only hope that idol life doesn't ruin them. They're great kids, and it would be a shame to suck the soul out of them. Compromises do have to be made though, he reasons.

These are the thoughts that keep him up at night. He doesn't remember the last time he had a good night's sleep; the last time he fell asleep the moment he slipped under the covers. No amount of exhaustion seems to be enough to get him to fall asleep, it seems.

The door to the room opens.

Yuta quickly shuts his eyes, not before glancing at the glowing red digits on the digital clock sticking out from underneath his pillow. _3:49 am,_ it reads. Yuta would've sighed, had it not been for another presence in the room. He only hopes that the NCT U boys are rewarded with enough free time after their schedules to catch up with all the sleep they've compromised.

He listens for sounds, as he usually does every night when Ten comes in. He has Ten's entire routine known by heart, just judging from the sounds; he's stayed awake enough times to have it engraved into his brain.

First, the door to their shared cupboard opens and there's sounds of rummaging, which he assumes is Ten searching for a pair of fresh clothes. After he's found what he's looking for, he closes the cupboard door, a tad bit too loudly for Yuta's liking, and on some days, he simply forgets to close it (this happens on days when he's not in his element, Yuta supposes, and the thought of his always cheery best friend being worn down to a state like that breaks his heart), before heading to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. The light clicks on after that, and there's sounds of shuffling, before the sound of water sprinkling onto the tiled floor seeps through the door and fills the small room. It goes on for a while, accompanied by more rummaging, until it stops and all is silent for a while. Sometimes, just sometimes, Ten hums softly while showering, hums a tune that's unfamiliar to Yuta's ears but at the same time, sounds so right that it has him listening intently each time without being aware of it. He should've been given a lot more lines to sing, Yuta thinks to himself. Yuta loves those particular nights.

He steps out of the small bathroom after that, and the light switches off, and there's a bit more moving about, after which he pads over the wooden floor in socked feet or his favourite bunny slippers (the ones Yuta had gifted him for his nineteenth birthday) before climbing up the short ladder to the upper bunk of their bed and slipping under the covers. Soft snoring comes a few beats later, and it's only after hearing that does Yuta feel he can go to sleep peacefully. Not that he would ever tell Ten, though. It'd be a cold day in hell before he does that.

None of that happens today though, which confuses Yuta to no end. It's been the same routine each day since debut but no matter how long he waits, he doesn't hear the cupboard door closing with an obnoxiously loud bang, he doesn't hear the sound of feet padding over the floor to the bathroom, he doesn't hear the light being switched on, and he doesn't hear any sounds of running water today.

For a moment, he fears his roommate has passed out on the floor; this is probably the latest he's come back in a while, and Yuta's contemplating whether or not he should get up and check for any signs of a lump on the floor when a warm body slips into bed with him.

He jolts, a small gasp escaping his mouth, and suddenly there's an arm wrapped around him and he's pulled into an all-too-familiar embrace.

An embrace Yuta's missed far too much.

“Hey,” he hears a soft voice whisper right into his ear, and Yuta feels himself tearing up, because it's been _so long_ since he's heard that voice directed towards him. Hearing it on television and on the radio isn't quite the same.

“H–Hi,” he manages to say back, although both his body and his mind refuse to cooperate with him due to the overwhelming geyser of emotions he's experiencing at the moment.

The effect Taeyong has on Yuta will never fail to amaze him.

He doesn't realize he's crying until there's a hand wiping at his cheeks and comforting words being whispered into his ears.

“Shh, shh, it's okay,” he hears, and it only leads to more tears.

He hears Taeyong cluck his tongue disapprovingly and next moment his face is pressed up against a chest, and he's sure he looks very unattractive, but he can't bring himself to care and by the looks of it, Taeyong doesn't seem to either.

The tears are still streaming down his cheeks, but Yuta's not sure anymore if they're of sadness, because he feels oddly giddy in Taeyong's embrace. It's not a surprise though. He always has.

Taeyong pulls him up then, and he's met with a pair of large eyes with something akin to mirth tinged with a bit of sadness twinkling in them. Yuta finds it amazing, how hours and hours of practicing with no rest to make up for it hasn't worn down the shine in those beautiful eyes a single bit. He supposes it's one of the many reasons he admires Taeyong so much.

“Why're you crying, stupid?” Taeyong chuckles fondly, and Yuta lets out a choked laugh of his own at that. He must look quite the sight, laughing through the tears still falling occasionally from his glassy eyes.

“I-I don't know,” he replies simply.

Taeyong laughs softly at that, ruffling his hair with a free hand. “Idiot,” he says, and Yuta hums because there's no malice to it, he knows.

They fall silent after that, with Yuta's occasional sniffling and their breathing being the only audible sounds in the dead of the night.

“Wait,” Yuta starts when he finally remembers why he was (partly) up in the first place, “Where's–”

But Taeyong cuts him off smoothly, “I told Ten to sleep in my room for tonight, so don't you worry your pretty little head about that.”

Yuta wishes fervently that Taeyong doesn't see the red tinting his cheeks in the darkness. “I bet Johnny was ecstatic about the change,” he snickers instead and Taeyong smiles, “Oh, trust me, he was. You should've seen his face. Lovesick fools, those two.”

Yuta hums and brings a hand to Taeyong's face, running a thumb across his cheekbone. He can feel Taeyong's gaze on him, and honestly, Yuta isn't sure how long his poor heart can keep up if he keeps looking at him like that.

“But then again, I guess we aren't too different,” Taeyong says next and it takes Yuta a moment to understand what he means. When he does, though, he pulls back and regards Taeyong with an incredulous look in his eyes.

“What?” he asks, although he knows exactly  _what._

“Don't play dumb, Yuta,” Taeyong's tone is much more serious now. It renders Yuta speechless.

“I'm in love with you, Yuta, you know that,” Taeyong says, and his tone is soft again. Yuta's breath hitches at his straightforwardness, and he honestly doesn't know what to say. Luckily (or unluckily) for him, Taeyong goes on, “And you're in love with me too, _I_  know that.”

“…No, you don't.”

Taeyong bursts out laughing at that, and Yuta has to slap him repeatedly for him to quieten down.

“The others are sleeping!” he whisper-shouts, and that seems to calm Taeyong down a little.

Taeyong's looking at him fondly now, and Yuta pretends he doesn't see it.

(He does a fairly decent job of it.)

He tucks his head into the crook of Taeyong's neck and breathes in the scent of the soap he uses, with the pleasant smell of his fabric softener tinging it at the edges. The smell has always calmed him down, and it reminds him of happier times. He decides not to think about that anymore. He has Taeyong, and even if it's only for now, it's enough.

“I've missed you,” he breathes into his shirt, feeling Taeyong's grip on him tighten.

“I'm sorry,” he says softly, tone apologetic, and Yuta feels a tinge of guilt; he didn't mean for it to be accusing. He's about to utter an apology of his own, when Taeyong goes on, “I've missed you too.”

Silence settles upon them once again, and Yuta feels himself starting to doze off a bit. He's almost slipped into dreamland when he hears it – Taeyong's voice, he's telling him something, but it's soft; so soft that Yuta barely hears him in his drowsy state, but he manages to catch it.

“But you have me now.”

And Yuta smiles.

For you see, life may not be quite as perfect as he'd like for it to be, but at that moment, he's sure–he'll, no, _they'll_ be alright.

As long as he has Taeyong, everything will be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> so i'm a little confused as to what i should do with this fic when it comes to adding it to a series. i've added the yujaeyong fic to a series called “domesticity” and idk whether i should add this and my other yutae fic to it too or keep it as a series solely for yujaeyong and make it like a day in their lives type of thing... i'll look into that later i guess
> 
> anyway,, comments and kudos are always appreciated~ 
> 
> until next time!!


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